The Best Worst Poem I've Ever Written

My buddy Deanna and I were laughing tonight about all the bad poetry we wrote as teenagers - the angst we felt so deeply and felt compelled to write about (since we were so cool and deep).  She found a notebook that contained her poetry from elementary, middle and high school and posted one of her "worst" poems on Facebook today.  She inspired me to go digging and here's the gem I found tonight.  I am still wiping away the tears as I laugh and post this...the best worst poem I've ever written.  It has no title or date but I'm guessing it was late 80s, early 90s.  I have no clue who I wrote this about but he must have had silky hair...'tis true.  So, without further ado, dear readers, enjoy:

Moonlit waters caress the sand
With a gentle, loving touch
And as we walk, you look at me
And your eyes say so much.

The night wind is gentle,
Caressing and warm
And it ruffles your silky hair
I tickle you, you smile and laugh
And caress my cheek with care.

I love you, 'tis true
What more can I say?
Yet something is never quite right
Just like the waters with the moon on their waves
That hide the evil from sight.

I'm not saying we're evil
Not you nor I
but perhaps together we're wrong.
So let's stay apart
For a while at least
And our friendship will stay strong.

After reading this with Deanna and Matt (my husband), we all felt compelled to add our commentary for those poetry students who need the interpretation for the test later.  Yes, there will be a test.

[We all agree that this starts out like standard teenage love mush]
Moonlit waters caress the sand
With a gentle, loving touch
And as we walk, you look at me
And your eyes say so much. [Do they?  Really?  Since when do boys' eyes say anything?]

The night wind is gentle,
Caressing and warm
And it ruffles your silky hair
I tickle you, you smile and laugh [I tickle you?  Who tickles people in a poem?  Really?]
And caress my cheek with care.
[Apparently, I was into caressing.  Lots of caressing.  The waters caress the sand, the wind is caressing, and you/he caresses my cheek.  What's a good Christian teenage girl to do?  When I'm not tickling, I'm caressing...or being caressed.  Of course, in a non-sexual way.  Naturally.]

I love you, 'tis true
What more can I say? [And here's where I went wrong.  I really should've stopped writing right here. 'Tis true.]
Yet something is never quite right [Oh boy.  Truer words were never penned.]
Just like the waters with the moon on their waves
That hide the evil from sight. [Oh no!  Something dark and scary is rising from the waves.  What is that?  Not our love!]

I'm not saying we're evil [How could we be evil?  Say 'tisn't so!]
Not you nor I
but perhaps together we're wrong. [Oh...this is so wrong.]
So let's stay apart
For a while at least
And our friendship will stay strong. [Really?  This is how I said "Let's be friends" back then? Wow.]

[There are simply no words.  Not one nor two.  No words.]

So there you have it.  The best worst poem I ever wrote.  Or, at least that I can find.  You're welcome.  I do what I can to bring some sunshine into your life on a dreary Monday.